


It's Alright

by RandmWriter



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst Warning, Gen, I Blame Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 20:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15871398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandmWriter/pseuds/RandmWriter
Summary: This time, Benji gets to be the one to save Ethan.





	It's Alright

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the Tumblr prompt:
> 
> “Imagine Benji finally being the one to save Ethan, but he gets fatally injured in the process. As he dies Ethan holds him in his arms and is positively furious/heatbroken at the fact that Benji won’t stop smiling - even as blood trickles out of the corner of his mouth - because Ethan is safe and alive and that’s all that matters to Benji anyway.”
> 
> “And since it’s his last minutes he wants to tell Ethan how he feels, wants the other to know, but he can’t speak, and he gives up, and just leans into Ethan’s shoulder, content with spending his last moments in his arms.”
> 
> If anyone wants a bit of music, you can listen to ["Everything We Hoped For"](https://soundcloud.com/bestilltheearth/everything-we-hoped-for) by Be Still the Earth, which is an amazing instrumental track !
> 
> Enjoy !

****When the twin gunshots ring out and the bullets pierce his body, Benji knows he won’t be making it out of this one alive.

He feels the bullets tear through skin, bone and flesh - piercing organs and leaving exit wounds larger than the ones they made upon entry. It feels like being lit on fire from the inside. It feels like a hundred knives stabbing him in quick succession. It feels like the greatest agony he had ever experienced, leaving him breathless and blinding him with pain. 

But most of all, it feels like relief. 

Relief at the fact that while the shooter’s bullets had found their mark in him, his own bullets had sailed true - striking his enemy between the eyes, and reducing the adversary to nothing but a heap on the floor. That meant the threat was neutralized. That meant the mission was complete. 

That meant Ethan was safe. 

Even with his body riddled with bullet holes, Benji can’t help but smile at the thought. 

He had wasted no time getting here. When Brandt had told him that Ethan was cornered, he almost couldn’t believe that their leader could ever be put in a position that he couldn’t get out of. But when he heard Ethan’s frantic yell of, “I’m out of bullets!” over the comms, his blood had turned into ice. He had run faster than he ever had before - throwing himself _forward forward forward_ \- because he couldn’t afford to be too late. 

He had come just in time to see the last assailant raise a gun at Ethan who lay battered and beaten on the floor - and like the idiot that he was - Benji had let out a desperate cry of, “over here!” in an attempt to create a distraction.   

And it had worked.   

He had drawn the shooter’s attention from Ethan, and when he was sure that his aim would kill, Benji didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.   

Unfortunately, the assailant didn’t hesitate either. 

‘ _He’s a bloody good shot,’_ Benji thinks with a begrudging smirk, watching the blood stain his clothes with a detached sort of fascination. 

  
“Nice timing, Benji.” 

  
Over the pounding of his heart and the ringing in his ears, Benji can still make out the sound of Ethan’s voice. 

Ethan moves towards the assailant, making sure the danger is truly neutralized, and once he’s satisfied, he turns to the technician with a blinding grin - filled with so much relief and gratitude that it makes Benji smile as well. 

The smile slips off the team leader’s face when he sees the roses blooming crimson on his friend’s shirt, and the pride in his eyes transforms into pure horror and fear. 

  
_“Benji.”_

 _  
_ It takes a moment for the owner of the name to process the whispered word, and he realizes with a jolt that Ethan sounds _terrified_. Benji moves on instinct - taking a step in an effort to reach his friend and offer comfort and support - but his knees choose to buckle before he can move forward, and he crashes to the ground. 

Ethan is on Benji in an instant - kneeling in front of the wounded tech, his hands finding the blonde’s shoulders, arms bracing the wounded man and keeping him upright. Ethan’s eyes are wide with disbelief - roaming over Benji’s torso with a hushed whisper of, “ _no no no nononononono-“._ He sees the wounds. He knows how this will end. And he knows Benji does too. 

  
“Benji,” whispers again, and he looks at his friend with a desperation the Brit has never seen before.   

  
It’s not a good look on him, Benji decides. He’ll have to fix that, now, won’t he? It takes far too much effort for the tech to speak against the gravel in his throat, but he manages. 

  
“’s alright, Ethan,” he whispers, trying his best to conjure up the biggest smile he can. 

“It will be,” Ethan agrees, but the panic bleeds into his voice and Benji can almost see the neurons firing in his friend’s brain - thinking of ways to get them both out alive.   

  
Benji almost wants to shake his head and laugh. That’s not what he meant.

He tries again. 

  
“No. I mean this is alright. ’s okay,” he’s almost proud at how even his voice is, even as he tastes the blood that trickles out of the corner of his mouth. 

  
It’s not that he isn’t afraid of dying. Of course he is. But when he thinks about the alternative - of Ethan being the one dying in his place… well this is so much better, isn’t it? At least it isn’t _Ethan_ dying. 

Again, his mouth twitches up into a smile. He can’t help it. He’s just so immeasurably _happy_ that Ethan is alive. _It’s worth it._  

Unfortunately, Ethan doesn’t seem to agree, with the way he shakes his head in frantic denial. 

  
“Benji, listen to me,” fine tremors rock the team leader’s normally calm voice. “You’re strong. You can get through this just- hey! Stay with me, alright? Stay with me. I’ll get you out.”   

  
And again, Benji wants to laugh because _come on, they both know he isn’t getting out of this one -_ but he never did like arguing with Ethan. He manages a feeble nod, and it seems to satisfy the older agent. 

  
“Good. Just hang tight. Medevac is on it’s way and they’ll fix you up. You just have to hang on a little longer, Benj.” 

  
Ethan is hard-pressed to keep his voice even, and bite back the desperate cry building in his throat. He won’t let Benji die. He just _won’t._ It's fundamentally wrong in every possible way, and he'll battle the reaper himself if it comes to it. 

His heart thunders in his ears - a raw agony ripping through his chest at the fact that his _best friend_ is bleeding out and he is _powerless_ to stop it. He thinks the aching in his heart can’t get any worse, until Benji pitches forward with a keen of pain, unable to keep himself up any longer. Ethan wastes no time in gathering his friend in his arms - settling the tech’s head comfortably in the crook of his elbow, nearly cradling the smaller body in his lap. 

  
“It’s alright, Benji. There. That’s better, right? It’s okay. You’ll be alright.”  

  
He’s lying. He _knows_ he’s lying, but he can’t stop the words from pouring from his lips. He _needs_ to believe it - needs to say it because Benji always believed in him, and he would be _damned_ if he didn’t do the same. 

Benji doesn’t seem to agree with his words, but he sees the patience and the quiet faith in his friend’s calm eyes and in his smile - an unspoken message of, _‘Alright, Ethan. I trust you.’ -_ and _godammit_ Ethan wants to _scream_. 

He wants to scream until his voice is hoarse and bloody and raw because Benji is _dying_ and Benji is _smiling_ and _why the hell is he smiling?!_ He _knows_ what’s going on. He _knows_ how this will end - and here he is, trying to reassure his failure of a leader that everything is alright. 

Almost subconsciously, Ethan rocks back and forth in a pitiful attempt at comfort. There’s nothing else he can do. He can’t manage to stop the tears that trek down his cheeks either, or the intermittent sobs that break free despite his efforts. 

  
Benji, for his part, can’t feel anything anymore. He supposes the shock will finish him off in the next few minutes, and he allows his smile to falter for the briefest of moments. 

It’s a pity. He still had quite a few things he wanted to do. He wanted to get the new Halo game. He wanted to see the opera. He wanted to watch Star Trek again. And maybe he would even tell a certain someone that… 

His smile turns wistful. 

Well, what he wants to say doesn’t matter anymore, now, does it? 

No matter how hard he tries to speak the words, his lips are too numb now, and he can’t get them to cooperate. It’s just as well. He doesn’t think he can speak with the blood filling his throat anyway. 

And so he allows what scrap of air he can pull into his lungs to taper off into a sigh, and he presses his face into Ethan’s shoulder. Even with his eyes open, he can’t see anything anymore, but just feeling Ethan’s arms around him - knowing he isn’t alone - is enough. 

He lets it be enough.

He can’t make out Ethan’s words anymore, but the steady lilt fills him with enough warmth to thaw the chill in his bones, even just for a moment.

It’s alright. This is worth it. 

Ethan is safe, and that’s all that matters anyway.   

Somehow, he still manages a smile. 

‘ _You did it, Benji. Ethan is safe. Ethan is alright. That’s all that matters. That’s all that matters. That’s all that ma–_  

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! So this was originally posted on my Tumblr account [@missionimpossible-fam](https://missionimpossible-fam.tumblr.com), and inspired by a prompt I posted a few days ago!
> 
> If any of you have prompts or headcanons about Ethan & Benji you'd like to suggest (no smut though, please!) I'd love to hear them! Feel free to drop me an ask on my blog!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and as always, feedback is eternally treasured and I will love you all forever! ^ U ^


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